Better Late Than Never

It occurred to me that being "saved by faith, not by works" is the same as saying that one cannot change, as in "transformation," by willpower alone, but that one must ask for help from above. We cannot change ourselves.

Darn it. No heroics - no Ironman - no taking credit. Just humility.

Every time I have tried to change by sheer force of will, I have failed. Every time. But when I ask for help, especially from the Master Jesus or from Mother Mary, I get results so fast and so easily that it's spooky. I mean, shouldn't it be difficult? Shouldn't I have to pay THROUGH THE NOSE? You would think that someone would say, "Sure, I'll help you. But first you have to learn your lesson." At least, that's what I learned in Catholic School. (Thanks a lot, Sister Jude!)

Father Paul once said that it is in our utter failure that we find God. When we have exhausted every attempt to "do it ourselves" and find ourselves totally defeated, then we turn to the Almighty. But if there is one scrap of ego left, one tiny impulse to prove something, then we're screwed. Right back to square one. Any belief that we have done it slams the door in our face.

A very, very close friend of mine once said that she got in meditation that we are either a "yes" or a "no," and that's all we are. Thinking that we do anything at all is sort of like...well, taking God's name in vain. Isn't that the Second Commandment? A little like the flipside of the First, I think.